X-Rated

Let me apologise for the time it took me to develop the inspiration to write this rant. During my research of watching the x-factor I was put into a severe coma of which several leading doctors didn't think I'd awaken from.

X-factor, basically the equivalent of pissing in an ocean of piss only minutes after learning how to piss by watching Pop Idol piss in it first.

I, as you may have noticed, take my music very seriously. I have a very eclectic music taste which includes the likes of underground hip-hop to death (I will eat your kittens) metal. So to all you people who just think I'm a metal head who never gave pop music a chance... I did, and it's still god awful.


As far as I see it, the x-factor takes people with vocal talent that could go far and people that are completely deluded, and makes them sing on television for shits and giggles. The ones that CAN sing then go onto a stage and sing ruin other artists songs for the same deluded people they competed against previously. Followed by a public vote to determine which one pleased the happy fool in the audience, that persistently heckled the presenter, Dermot O'leary whenever he comes on stage, the most.


The two people with the least votes then have a 'sing off', which sounds as though they're going to be forcefully attacking each other with squealing noises to the tunes of decent enough songs. However, it's a lot less exciting than that. They simply sing another song and then the 'greatest minds' of the music industry, Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole and Dani Minouge, who's total accomplishments is a few bad bands and some awful over-produced tracks, pass their almighty judgement upon them and they get escorted outside by Simon's henchmen and killed by firing squad.


Certain winners and contestants that managed to narrowly avoid the painful death that awaited them, become celebrities and have hordes of fan-girls, usually aged 10-14, follow them around the streets asking for autographs and fingernails. A prime example of this was last years x-factor winner, Joe Mcelderry. Several of my close companions actually went to a gathering of other fan-girls, most likely to perform voodoo acts to try and make time reverse to he could attempt to claim the patented Christmas #1 chart topper prize, which until that year had been virtually guaranteed to the respective years x-factor winner. But due to the tenacity of the musically minded Rage Against The Machine fans, he was stripped of this luxury, and forced into the #2 spot. [Get in.]


Another example would be the infamous John and Edward, or less formally known as, 'Jedward'. They made their claim to fame by being annoying, bad at singing and having hair tall at the front and small everywhere else, which quite frankly looks ridiculous. They now advertise what looks like an equally annoying Nintendo DS game. Enough said.


In a rather large nutshell; X-factor has ruined the small percentage of the music industry that still thrived on the true music fans, by clogging it with more and more useless pop groups/artists that all sound remarkably similar. All of which spew large piles of gold into Simon's swollen wallet, for him to blow on houses in the sun and asian hookers.